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Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Relapses
What do you do to get back on track when your loved one relapses?
I try not to let my fear overtake me. I try to seperate the action from the person I love. I also find myself journaling alot when this happens. I try to trust in God.
what do you suggest putting in this journal we are supposed to be writing? I have one started with my boundaries, but the thoughts I have when my loved one relapses are not as clear in my mind. I am often confused.
I am not always good at remembering this in the moment, and often have to be reminded, but I write down all the things in my life I am thankful for and it helps me have a good spirit which helps drive away the feelings of despair.
I think the question for me is how do I find that proverbial track to get on in the first place, as I have a loved one who has yet to let me in or admit to even having an addiction. argh!
Your track is separate then your loved one. His denial doesn't change the direction of your track. It is hard when tracks don't line up like we thought they would or when our loved ones won't hop aboard the train we think they need to be on. So we realign our expectation and focus on our own track. Often it is easier to focus on others journey then my own ...I find myself doing this a lot when my next step seems overwhelming to me. I need to remind myself to work on my issues, keep building my own train tracks. I am the only one who can build my tracks so if I feel stuck, I can know it is me who is stalling the progress. Which means I had better connect with my heavenly project manager and get my little caboose in gear!
I appreciate the "Heavenly Project Manager" imagery. I know you're right in stating that we need to focus on our own track, I just have a hard time knowing that we are supposed to be one and not feeling guilty that I am working on "my own track". Perhaps I need to look at it differently... writing things down might help of course, but keeping in mind that it is my own salvation that I am working on might help with the imagery of him being on a different track than me in this eternal marriage???
I try not to let my fear overtake me. I try to seperate the action from the person I love. I also find myself journaling alot when this happens. I try to trust in God.
ReplyDeletewhat do you suggest putting in this journal we are supposed to be writing? I have one started with my boundaries, but the thoughts I have when my loved one relapses are not as clear in my mind. I am often confused.
DeleteI am not always good at remembering this in the moment, and often have to be reminded, but I write down all the things in my life I am thankful for and it helps me have a good spirit which helps drive away the feelings of despair.
ReplyDeleteI think the question for me is how do I find that proverbial track to get on in the first place, as I have a loved one who has yet to let me in or admit to even having an addiction. argh!
ReplyDeleteYour track is separate then your loved one. His denial doesn't change the direction of your track. It is hard when tracks don't line up like we thought they would or when our loved ones won't hop aboard the train we think they need to be on. So we realign our expectation and focus on our own track.
DeleteOften it is easier to focus on others journey then my own ...I find myself doing this a lot when my next step seems overwhelming to me. I need to remind myself to work on my issues, keep building my own train tracks. I am the only one who can build my tracks so if I feel stuck, I can know it is me who is stalling the progress. Which means I had better connect with my heavenly project manager and get my little caboose in gear!
I appreciate the "Heavenly Project Manager" imagery. I know you're right in stating that we need to focus on our own track, I just have a hard time knowing that we are supposed to be one and not feeling guilty that I am working on "my own track". Perhaps I need to look at it differently... writing things down might help of course, but keeping in mind that it is my own salvation that I am working on might help with the imagery of him being on a different track than me in this eternal marriage???
Delete