conference

As I watched General Conference I was amazed at how personal I felt a few of the talks were to me. I know people always say that they feel the talk was meant for them, but I don't usually feel that way. This time was different. I really needed to feel embraced by the leadership in Christ's church. I feel they really do understand the role of husbands and wives, and are here to testify of not only the sanctity of marriage, but also of the love, respect, and tenderness that are to be shown to women. As I ponder the roles I have had over the years (and the confusion that has come to me as I have wondered how I could ever be enough), it is nice to know that there are men who really do, and always have, honored their priesthood by honoring God, their wives, and their children. I want to thank my Heavenly Father for our Prophets and Apostles. They give all women hope, and all men an example to follow.

Giving My Fears To God

I have had a dark cloud of crankiness over my head ever since I came home from church on Sunday. I had some awfully deep insight as I sat in class Tuesday evening. I am not certain if I can write it down and have it make sense, but just know it makes sense in my brain.

Abraham was asked to sacrifice his son Isaac. I would imagine that would be somewhat similar to how I have been feeling like God looked into my heart, saw my worst fear and made it a reality. Abraham had to trust God and place Isaac on that altar and then leave the rest in God's hands, no matter what the outcome. He had to trust that God's promises would be fulfilled, and trust that God loved Isaac as much as he did.  Why is it so hard for me to trust God? By comparing myself to Abraham and laying all the hurts and fears on the altar and trusting that no matter what God loves me and my family is what I need to do.

I also learned that God isn't strengthening me to carry the whole burden all at once.  He strengthens me from day to day. Sometimes from moment to moment.

I wanted to share this song with you guys. I have been listening to it a lot as I reminder of the power of prayer and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Let me know what you think!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD6RdI1QqCg&feature=share&list=PLdBd6p3sXKwm3CTGa1-WOwPjPFYaVwZFI


(and I hope this works!)

It is a song performed my Celtic Woman titled "The Call"

Confessions of a "stuffer"

I am a "stuffer", meaning my default when I can't or don't want to deal with issues in front of me, I stuff them down deep in my heart and ignore them for as long as I can. It seems to me, at the time that the thoughts and feelings are too painful and overwhelming to process. When I do this, I am choosing to turn my feelings off. It works great at the time to stop the pain but in doing so I also block myself from the comfort  and promptings of the Holy Ghost. How in the world can I heal when I refuse to deal with hurtful issues? I can't. I have to let go of the illusion of protection that I feel when I indulge in my addiction of "stuffing" or denying myself healing through the atonement of Jesus Christ and the comfort of the Holy Ghost as I feel and deal with the pain of those scary issues. I have to remind myself often that it was never meant for me to deal with this pain alone. I am not alone. I have a loving elder brother who desires for me to allow Him to hold me as I feel and process the pain. Then He will take the pain away (as I am willing to give it), allowing me to keep the lessons and experiences as a foundation and testimony of the power of the atonement. As I write this little paragraph, it doesn't seem hard or difficult but rather simple in procedure and principle but it requires me to trust, really trust, that my Savior will do what He promises me. I have to decide to trust God. I can spend my life 'stuffing" and then waiting for everything to fall apart when I can't hold things in forever or I can choose to be emotionally healthy, dealing with issues as I am prompted using the beautiful and perfect gift of the atonement.

Relapses

What do you do to get back on track when your loved one relapses?